did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
