I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
