Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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