Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
