I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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