just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
