i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize