I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
