okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
