Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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