i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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