Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
