is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
