WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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