the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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