She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
