His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
