I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
