Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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