New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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