I need help removing her.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
