at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
