Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
