I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
