So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
