I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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