don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
