Dude my mom stole all your condoms
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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