You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
