I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
