I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
