I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
