dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i believe in u and ur pee
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
