Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
