So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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