honey bunches of taint.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
