what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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