Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
