So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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