was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize