we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
it's like heaven, but drunker
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
