I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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