HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
