We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
