I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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