The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
