i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
