it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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