It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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