I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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