Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
