she was so not down for the gang bang
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You pole danced in your parka.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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