I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
