I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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