no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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