she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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