Non-Jews are for practice
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize