Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you have to choose: penises or morals?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize