I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
