so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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