this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize