when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
