yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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