was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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