It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
