I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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