I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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