So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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