you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
