Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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