Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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