You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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