There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
