No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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