Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
