Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
