And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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